It is official! I am sick and tired of trying to be everything to everyone, as if I don’t have my own life that’s clearly full of ups and downs. Some of my friends expect me to jump everytime I’m expected to do something for them, yet, when I need them the most, they’re never there.
This had led me to come to a conclusion that, maybe, my life wasn’t meant to have certain people in it, especially if it means that I’m being used as the ‘back-up plan’ should all else fail with all their other friends. This is me being honest now, I’m tired. I came to varsity for the sole purpose of getting an education, and JUST maybe, JUST maybe, meeting new people and also perhaps meeting my prospective husband (haha :) ), but at the same time, I refuse to be subjected to such abuse by those very same people that call themselves my friends.
Late;y, I’ve come to enjoy my own company. I love my own space, doing all the little things that I love, and just dreaming, and lately, I’ve come to realise just how I’M NOT SUPERWOMAN! This semester is going to be all about listening to my body, because honestly speaking, it gets tired too.
But other than all of that, it’s time to move on. There’s really no two ways to look at it. It’s time to move on with life, and I mean all aspects. There’s no time to have a past haunting you; that’s why it’s even called a past, so that it can stay in the back of your mind, and so that you can learn from it, but anyway, moving on to more positive things.
I was working at a child development centre this past weekend, and these experiences are always bitter-sweet for me. I met this little girl, with the saddest eyes i’d ever seen, and all I wanted to do was to cup her face in the palm of my hands and tell her that it would be ok. I wanted to give that little girl, all the warmth and love that I could possibly give her, just to remove the sadness in her eyes. The loneliness in her eyes, broke my heart instantly. I almsot broke down in front of that little girl. I desperately wanted to take whatever pain the world had caused her little heart, away. She’s only five.
Just thinking about her, manages to bring tears to my eyes, because, I feel that, no child should ever have to go through something like that at such a young age, and it made me think of Mine. I have an overwhelming feeling of wanting to be home right now. I just want to go home.